I finally have an arch enemy.

His name is Oscar Gross Brockett
(yes, that really is his middle name)
and he is the English professor who wrote History of the Theatre, a 700 page book of history on one of the most interesting subjects I know,
and he made it into the most snore potion-soaked pages in the History of Theatre! No pun intended.

The details!
Ahh! *bubbledyingbubble sink bubble* I'm drowning!
*cough*...DROOOOWNING... *gargle* Death by details!
Every work ever written by any person having anything remotely to do with anything!
Names, dates, records, files, documents, SO.MANY.NUMBERS
Give me the name of anyone you know assosiated with theatre. Anyone! Do it! It's in there.
Whhhy? Whyyyhh?! How do you sleep at night, Mr Evil Professor?
You don't, do you?You're out humping your co-writer Mr. Hildy all night,you totally perverted old man,tattooing names and dates into his bubblegum-perfumed balloon-buns with a big red lipstick while you laugh evilish at those poor student-suckers who has to know your work by heart.


I mean, seriously, the man knows his stuff. I am totally in awe of his knowledgeness and bow to his evil plan to destroy all those of equal mind - and it would be fantasticly cool to read every bit of it - if I could stay awake long enough!

That man's gonna get it.
I don't care if he's a hundred and one years old.

----

You're right, I'm overreacting.
This is the common view on my dear archy enemyses,(stolen from his myspace (!) These are from his FRIENDS, mark you.

27 nov 2006 22:16

There are times I wished your book wasn't so detailed about everything so my students could use other sources for their bloody essays. Now I have to read over 200 pages of bloody rehash of your book...which I have memorized!
Rob.

09 des 2006 22:11

Oscar... i am going to read a lot of you tonight and tomorrow... you better be more interesting!!
Michal

11 des 2006 00:35

you DICK!!
YOU FUCKING DICK!!

HOW COME EVERYONE IN YOUR BOOK WAS THE LEADING ________ OF THEIR TIME!? AND WHY WAS THEIR TIME SPANNING 10 - 30 YEARS OVER THE COURSE OF 4 CENTURIES!? WHY!!!? WHYYYYYYYYYY!?!?
Rob Y.

--- - - -

Nooo, I'm not going to kill him. There are so few of us left. (And that does not make it sound like we're vampires at all.) But darling Oscar, find some fresh blood, will you? Just because you remember everything from the time you made Eve nibble the apple, doesn't mean you have to write it all down, mate. We're quite happy with doggy-fashion... I mean the stories. We will see you in Hell, Pachebel. I'll be polishing my pitch-fork just for you...